Table of Contents
Self-admiration
Envy
Following someone without their permission or knowledge.
Managing
While love can be beautiful and romantic for a time, or even the entire relationship, sometimes it can lead to narcissistic jealousy, stalking, controlling behavior, and narcissistic behaviors. Narcissistic people tend to be obsessed with themselves and want to control everyone around them. Jealousy can sometimes feel like a threat to your partner. Stalking involves following someone and knowing every detail. Controlling, or controlling, is a way to limit what people can do in a relationship. However, these are just a few of the many things that can go wrong in relationships. These key behaviors can be mirrored in each other’s relationships, such as jealousy and controlling behavior. If a relationship goes sour, the partner could become jealous and stalk each other. Narcissism is when a partner is jealous or controlling and is why they are often forbidden from doing things together.
Vanity
Narcissism may be classified as a personality condition. Narcissistic people feel superior and entitled, and they exploit and manipulate others. Kernberg was aware that Freud’s model did not fully explain narcissism. Kernberg raised it. He believed that the narcissist was the result of a lack of love and caregiving, particularly in childhood. Narcissisms were, basically, a way to avoid the negative feelings of abandonment or loss from parents. Kohut proposes a different approach to this matter, idealization and mirroring. Mirroring was the parental love and idealization was the child’s belief that their parents were perfect (Lam 2012). Narcissists are usually males. Narcissists believe they have more self-worth, are unique, and are smarter than others. They also believe that dating can make them get what they want. They were more focused on themselves than others, which was a hallmark of narcissists. They were also unable to empathize, be agreeable, or have communion. They also used the first-person pronoun “I”, in unstructured and unrehearsed speech more often. (Lam (2012)) There are some people who believe that narcissism may be a good thing. They find them to be entertaining, creative, enthusiastic, and confident. Some people believe that narcissists can be more attractive than those who aren’t. Narcissists were less likely to experience short-term romance dysfunction than non-narcissists (Lam, 2012).
Envy
Jealousy can be positive or negative depending on who it is. Although jealousy is more commonly seen as a negative characteristic, it can also be a sign that you are insecure, possessive, or low self-confidence (Benokraitis (2015)). Overprotective parents or those who reject their child as children often lead to jealousy in the love lives of the children. Jealousy does not exist in all people. A person living in a smaller area with less population might feel the same way.
Jealousy is a sign that someone is not willing to risk losing their investment in a relationship. Because it protects the relationship, jealousy can be a positive sign. While jealousy may have some positive connotations and can be communicated to partners as a sign of a lack in trust (Barelds, Martz & Agnew, 2006). Trust is the foundation of long-lasting relationships (Rusbult Martz, Agnew, 1998). However, when jealousy becomes a regular pattern in a relationship it can destroy that trust which is crucial to a happy, fulfilling relationship. (Newberry 2010) People like jealousy depending on who they are. It is usually a sign that the person is protective of the relationship and overprotective.
Following someone persistently without their consent
Stalking, which is annoying and sometimes unwelcome by another person, is not a good thing. Cyberstalking also exists, which involves stalking via text, email and other social media. In 2010, nearly 79 percent were victims of stalking. A total of 66% of the stalking victims were females, and they were often stalked by their intimate partner. (Benokraitis et al., 2015) The human bio-behavioral system is known to be prone to stalking. Stalkers often think about their victim unconsciously. The nature of their fantasies varies depending on the relationship. They will be humiliated if the victim rejects them and may vent their anger at the victim.
One of the three primary brain systems responsible to reproduction and mating is the sex drive. The motivation to have sexual pleasure is called the sex drive. Attraction refers the desire to find a partner for sexual gratification. Female/male attachment is formed when a person feels a sense of calm, security, and unity with their long-term partner. (Meloy & Fisher, 2005)
Stalking isn’t something people see when they are in a loving relationship. Instead, it’s what happens after the encounter. As I explained, stalking is not a result of being physically present with the person. On TV, stalking is a behavior that occurs because the person believes the other person is attractive or handsome. Perhaps they were in highschool together and fell in love.
Managing
Controlling people desire power over others (Benokraitis and 2015). They want control. We often see our family as controllers and tell us to follow their example. However, controllers will expect their partner’s help in a relationship. They want them to clean up after themselves, make dinner for them, and show affection. If the partner is not able to show affection, the controller will make the decision to leave their job or to end their relationship.
Many manipulators are aware of the damage they’re doing but do it to satisfy their own desires and needs. (Benokraitis, 2015). The controller often says or acts in love with the partner, and that is why they want them doing this or that. One of my friends has the controlling factor. She is weak and cannot be left alone, so her boyfriend controls her entire life. She left school one day and quit her job. He wanted her at home and was able to support him. Our friendship, which has lasted almost 10 years now, was even hampered by the same friend who let her fiance intrude on our friendship. People lose sight and see the good in others.
Love relationships can be difficult. They don’t always work out as we planned. Sometimes we play scenarios that we prefer to see than what actually happens. There are many signs that can be used to identify a partner. We are all imperfect so there will always be flaws. If you are ever confronted with someone who is controlling, jealous, narcissistic or stalking, remember your worth. You have the right to leave, and you’re not tied down with someone.
